At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
