Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I need to calm my uterus...
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
