i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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