Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
