Do you still have your period?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
