Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
