I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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