I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
