Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
