I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
