As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Still dying that you shit outside
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
