Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
