I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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