i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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