You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have post one night stand depression
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