Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
We need to get me chipped asap
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
