I think i peed on brittanys purse
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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