I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
