i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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