Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
