So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
