remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
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