I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
