Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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