I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
