I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
