She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
