i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
i need to put some appletini on your dick
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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