I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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