Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
