I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
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