She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I could fuck to npr.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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