Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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