I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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