Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
