I wish I could punch you in the face.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
