Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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