I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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