How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
