big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
