I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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