The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
