Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I will be naked everywhere
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
