i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
