That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
