I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
