dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
