I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
