Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
