In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
