What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
