tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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